A Magical Roleplaying Experience 

"These are dark times, there is no denying..."
Scrimgeour said it first, but we're feeling it in the real world and we know you are too!

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 #27885  by Zara Sheppard
Zara smirked, opening her eyes and leaning forward again.

"Yeah...She's very cute, actually. Not too fussy either. But I hear Viola is having a hard time from what I've heard from Hera. Hera has been Iver at Viola's a lot to help Aidan." She rolled her eyes. "Then again, I think there's already two Iver nannies booked in."
 #27887  by Ivan Ramazanov
“From what I have heard,” said Ivan. “...from men who work security there. Viola is having very easy time. Because she is leaving all child care to Aidan. Is unnatural for a mother to leave most child care to the father... but Everything about Viola is unnatural.”

Ivan did not like Viola and likely never would. He did not trust her one bit! Not after all she did, even if she was under some spell... of her own making everyone seemed to forget. She wanted to be in an altered state of mind. No one seemed to remember this..
 #27888  by Zara Sheppard
Zara hummed, nodding a little.

"Huh...that makes sense now. Kyle said that Nil had been escorting her to shopping locations; I hadn't realised he meant without the baby." She shook her head, looking off to the side. "Some people just don't understand what a good thing they've got. It's upsetting when people don't appreciate their kids; Hell, even Marlowe loved his children. Sure, his son is dead now and he was a terrible, terrible role model, but he at least didn't want to put them in harm's way."

"Then again, if he genuinely didn't want George in danger, Marlowe would have given up the Kingdom long before his death...you know what I mean, anyway." She sighed, looking over to him.

And she did just that. She really looked at him, considering her thoughts before speaking surprisingly softly.

"You know, when I first met you, I thought you was a complete and utter cad. A near thirty year old who was handsome, charming, had a good job, and plenty of opportunity to meet someone and you hadn't settled down yet? It screamed 'player' to me." She pursed her lips, looking away. "I have only recently started to see it was because of the exact same reasons as me. Plenty of opportunity, lots of offers, perhaps getting close in the past...but in the end, you knew it would harm the other person in one way or another. If you chose someone too sweet and innocent, they would be forced to dangerous situations and be made a victim. If you chose someone too indulged in this area of work, you would both be at odds and they would perhaps back off from any commitment. In the end, trying to find someone with the right balance of morals is extremely difficult."

"How common is it to find someone morally good that wants the wedding and the kids and the happy life...but also understands and accepts that you control an organisation known for breaking arms and working for those less moral? And on top of that, the balance between having your own employees and friends protecting your lovers but also requiring them to be able to protect themselves and not do anything stupid. Meeting people in the first place is hard. It's not like we can just go up to someone and live the romantic dream because it would mean we either expose ourselves and risk lawful repercussions, or we live a lie..."

She stared off for a long moment, frowning.

"I thought I found my balance with Levi...and then again with Hugh...I thought that because they worked in the similar area, they would be more understanding...but they weren't. They both wanted me to give up this life - I thought I did too. Maybe one day I will...but I'm finally free. I feel independent for once. I think it will be too late by the time I want to settle down, but I think I'm at peace with that now."
 #27889  by Ivan Ramazanov
"Yes, true," said Ivan nodding. "I can never see you settling down. Too independent. You don't vant to change your ways for anyone."

But he felt a bit bad now for her, where it the past he would have thought this was because she was too ridged in her ways. Instead he thought... she had suffered enough from Wesley and it had probably made it too hard for her to conform to anything ever again! Even for love...

"As for me?" He smirked and said, "I am not looking for someone with such high morals. Don't put words in my mouth. I am just looking for someone who will be faithful to me, love me, appreciate fact I work hard and am good at what I do. I don't think is so much to ask. You think what any of us do is moral? No... I am not such a hypocrite. We all have our own version of what we are looking for. I can take faithful to family and friends if not rest of the world. I think if you think about it, you are the same. But all you need is someone who is not interested in marriage. that is what makes you run... or children. If not for commitment on paper and children I think you could have been with Levi or Cleary for very long time... Maybe forever."
 #27890  by Zara Sheppard
Zara gave a saddened smile.

"I think you're right. I really wanted to try with both of them...But youre right. I run from commitment in the fear of losing everything suddenly. Maybe I should g8ve up the idea of traditional relationships." She smiled a little at him. "I think you still have a chance though. I think you will get the girl you want one day."

The smile faded, and she soon began to stand, finishing the last of her drink.

"I hope I don't sound rude or intrusive but...why are you actually still single? It's not like you don't have options right? What's stopping you?"
 #27891  by Ivan Ramazanov
Ivan gave her a rye smile, then tipping his glass at her he said,

"Because... everything you thought about me? Was all true. "

He never thought in a m million great he would tell her that...

"I vas a cad, a womanizer, everything you accused me of at one time. Was part of the reason you were so annoying."

"You know of Hera, Marzia, but did you know I was in relationship with married woman some time before Hera? Is true." He took a sip of his drink, then said, "I had no interest in settling down. Not for most of my life. Loved all women to much. That was my excuse."
 #27892  by Zara Sheppard
Zara blinked, silent for a moment.

"Huh." She concluded with, thinking it over for a moment. "Well...I guess it all makes sense now. Good to know."

She looked away, clearing her throat.

"So are you wanting to settle down now then? Or is it still the same?"
 #27896  by Ivan Ramazanov
" What? No! I mean yes I want to settle down now... I think. I don't know. I sort of gave up on idea. I should explain second half. I did change my mind set. I vould try to change ways, drift back... but it vas finally a punch to the jaw with a metal fist that knocked some sense into me I think." he said, rubbing his chin at the memory.

"Nicole vas first real attempt in a long time. She was single, she was sweet, she was looking for real relationship, there was little drama with her but...” Ivan shrugged, then said, “She just wasn’t the right one. Like you said. Maybe too sweet. Maybe needed too much protecting. She was so afraid of everything she could not even continue her dream job. Or maybe I secretly like drama, I don’t know...” Ivan said with a shrug. “But some times you just don’t really connect right in the end. Truth is... I think with Nicole Martin I was trying to find another version of Hera. She looked a bit like her even. I could not get Hera out of my head, so I went for what looked like a version of her

Ivan took another sip of his drink, then said, “When Hera and Egan divorced for a moment I thought maybe but... is just not good idea.For a time I felt I loved her and that got in the way of starting any other serious relationships. But now... I need to let her go.” He sighed, then said, “And then for a moment in time I flirted with idea of dating Magdalina. But this was also a bad idea. Is bad idea to date people you work with, but especially when there is an imbalance of power. Plus... there was a misunderstanding of sort between us. It just did not work out. I think she still really likes me and would be happy to start something again but... I am determined to live life different going forward. I am her boss. Is not good for her, not good for me, not good for general moral of Watchdogs.”

He finished off his drink, then looking over at Zara he said, “But is not always easy doing right thing, you know? She is very beautiful. I do find her attractive. But I am trying to do better then my old self would. So wile you might look with distain on how I was... I hope you can appreciate current effort.
 #27899  by Zara Sheppard
Zara pressed her lips together, nodding a little.

"Do you still feel something for Hera? Even if not love...do you think you're passed her or not?"
 #27910  by Ivan Ramazanov
“Something?” Said Ivan raising a brow. “Yes, in a way. But truth is... seeing how she moved on from me killed some of that.”

Ivan finished off his drink, then said, “After so much time has gone by I know we are not right for one another. But... there has always been this feeling. Hard to explain... like there is some un answered question between us. People assume we slept together more than once. But this is not true. Yes there was one other time we came close but... it did not happen. I knew she was in vulnerable state and didn’t want to take advantage...” looking at Zara he said, “Am I awful person for wishing I had? The one time I was with her it ended with her crying and cursing at me. It vould be nice to have a memory that did not end that way.”
 #27923  by Zara Sheppard
Zara pursed her lips, nodding slightly.

"I can understand not wanting that as a memory but...wishing you had taken advantage of her is a big no-no. Sure, you feel you would get a lot more out of the experience and feel something is resolved but...maybe it would have led to the exact same situation. An instant regret, only amplified by the fact that it was the second time she'd indulged. And that would make you feel even worse, right? You don't know that it would have ended pleasantly..."

She shrugged.

"Maybe it was never meant to be. Besides...I think she's uhm...happily exploring things with other people." She looked away. "Well, from what she's told me. "

She took a long gulp of alcohol. She really shouldn't be talking about this stuff to Ivan of all people but it felt like there was something on her chest, and maybe easing it would help her relax for this next meeting with the Kingdom?
 #27924  by Ivan Ramazanov
Ivan couldn’t help but notice the way Zara spoke, glancing away, almost like her words had another meaning.

“Yes... I know...” he said, looking at her sideways. “I don’t think is secret. She has dated an Iver and a Meyer from what I know. Likely more. But alright. I concede the point. It would have not turned out well with Hera. She does not think out consequences well and then when things go bad she either hates herself, or hates other person. She... feels too deeply or something. I don’t know.”

Ivan put his empty mug down, then looking to Zara again he said, “You are asking me to be honest. Now your turn. Do you and Hera still talk about me? Did you tell her you were still sleeping with me?”
 #27925  by Zara Sheppard
Zara bit her lip, shaking her head.

"No, she doesn't know. She knows we did sleep together at some point but she doesn't know it's a regular thing. But she does sometimes talk about you. I don't think she has feelings for you but she has uhm...well I think it's sort of the same thing. There's something unresolved there that she can't actually act on or talk about to you; there's a brick wall there."

She ran her hand through her hair.

"Its especially hard for her since you are exactly her type...there's a real emotional disconnect she's having to do."
 #27926  by Ivan Ramazanov
Ivan was quiet a moment, then finally said, “If she didn’t have kids with Egan... I probably would have been more aggressive in pursuing her. But her brother claimed such actions would have been her doom so.... I suppose it was for best. Maybe he lied but... one way or another all signs point towards no.”

Looking to Zara then he said, “This is terrible, yes? Here I am talking to you about another woman. True, you and I are not a couple. But still... Does not seem polite.”

It seemed down right odd given their history.
 #27927  by Zara Sheppard
Zara lifted her brow at him.

"Well, if it makes you feel better, you can always talk about how much you enjoyed it with me the other night?" She gave an expectant look.