A Magical Roleplaying Experience 

 #30705  by Andi Foerster
Andi bit his lip, leaned back, but then eventually nodded with resign.

"You're right...I know you are..." He sniffed. "Thanks for um...not making fun of me. Ana said you wouldn't; she said you'd support me...she was right. I sort of knew too but...sometimes I can't help but worry."

"Could you maybe not tell my mum yet? About the whole...guy thing?"
 #30706  by Florian Dahl
"Sure, tell her in your own time," said Florian. "Tell anyone in your own time in fact. I am not gossip."

Frowning a bit then he said, "I wouldn't ever mention to Jens that you liked him though. It might... be awkward, considering he isn't into men."

But mostly, Florian was concerned Jens would take advantage of the situation. He did not trust the young man at all.
 #30708  by Andi Foerster
"Ah yeah I uhm...wasn't planning to tell him. He'd just laugh..." He leaned back, staring at the ceiling for a moment. "Have you ever thought...or wondering...considered whether you liked guys at all? Just like...a thought? Ana says I should to talk to someone like her brother, or that Kyle Bowden but...that's really awkward, right?"

"Besides...I'm not gay. Not really." He mumbled. "I'm just confused. It's not like I fancy all guys or anything."
 #30727  by Florian Dahl
"I should hope not," said Florian, "That would be an awkward way to live. You think I fancy all women? Trust me.. I don't. Might seem that way, but I don't." he said with a bit of a smirk.

"People like what they like for different reasons. I don't know if you are gay, bi, strait, or if you really are confused because of experiences you had. Maybe just don't over think it. Maybe just let it be for the moment. Don't try to force yourself into a box. Mostly I don't want you stressing or over analyzing yourself about it. As for me?"

Florian shook his head, then looked up a moment in thought before saying, "When I was much younger... everyone wasn't questioning their own sexuality so much. I mean maybe some people were, but it wasn't talked about so much. If you felt something was off from what your friends felt, you usually kept it to yourself. So I didn't really think about it. I didn't wondering if feeling jealous of the way my best friend spent more time with his girlfriend now meant anything. I know it would be so much easier if I could relate to you in some way, but I can't. I have even been kissed by guys, but it only ever felt funny, or awkward, depending on the situation. I never felt a little turned on by it and questioned anything."

He shrugged again, then said, "Has there ever been anyone else besides Jens? Or is he the only man you have felt that way for?"
 #30835  by Andi Foerster
Andi thought for a long moment, perhaps for longer than expected. He scrunched his nose, and then slowly began to shake his head.

"I...I don't think so? Well...I mean...I guess..." He winced, running his hand through his hair. "I dunno if this is, like, really predictable but...kind of the time I met Kyle Bowden for the first time. I know he's gay so I dunno, maybe he would be obvious to take a liking to? But he's a bit old for me...way out of my league..."
 #30836  by Florian Dahl
"Yes, and he is involved in some dangerous, criminal organizations," said Florian, making face. "League has nothing to do with it. I mean but yes. Too old for you by far," he added, not at all sure how old Kyle was. In truth he always thought of Kyle as being quite young but... maybe that was because when he first met him he was being lead around by Dice?

Florian sighed, rubbed his eyes wearily, then said, "Is this because of Wesley? Because he dragged you into so much criminal activity and such? And now you are attracted to these dangerous, rough people? Or is this my fault? I knew it..." he said, shaking his head before Andi could even answer. "I didn't shield you enough. Playing drinking games around that sort...."

He shook his head again, then leaning forward in his seat and looking into Andi's eyes, he said, "Don't you love and respect Anna? There are other people like that you know. Men too... who are decent, moral, don't run with rough crowds or get tangled with vampires..."

He could only hope that once with the theater, And would meet some nice thespian, either male or female, and forget these criminals he knew.
 #30837  by Andi Foerster
Andi frowned, thinking carefully.

"I dunno...I guess I just like what I like? Maybe I like criminals...maybe I'm messed up." He sighed, looking down at his hands as he fiddled with the duvet.

"Oh, hey, you know what? I think I have liked a guy that was sort of normal." he smiled a little. "Remember that other guy that was after Cecile? That reporter? I mean obviously it wasn't a crush since I barely knew his name...in fact, I think I've forgotten it entirely. But I remember him being good looking..."
 #30839  by Florian Dahl
"Uh huh... yes... His name escaped me as well..." said Florian a bit dryly.

Kit Harper. Florian knew exactly who he was talking about. Kit knew a bit too much about him for Florian's comfort. Of all people why did it have to be Kit Harper.

Ok, he was getting ahead of himself. This was actually a good thing. Harper... was... a... Well he wasn't a... criminal... or a rough bully...

"Yeah he's the sort. Good... you have some better taste in men then. Keep thinking that way. Or think about women again. You seem to have better taste in women. You seem pretty confused anyways as to how this works. Just because someone is gay that doesn't mean you should feel an attraction to them. Have standards. Don't go thinking someone is your only chance because they share your sexual preference. Better to be alone than desperate, right?"

But he had a feeling that advice did little at Andi's age. Florian remembered being in his early twenties... Not being alone seemed like the only important thing at times, standards be damned if it meant a warm body to take home at night...
 #30841  by Andi Foerster
"That's easy for you to say when I've never seen you truly alone or desperate at all." He poured and then leaned forward.

"How do you do it? How do you have so many girls chasing after you? Girls my age! What's so attractive? What do you say? Or do?"
 #30843  by Florian Dahl
Holding up his hands, Florian said, “Woah, woah, hold on now... you havn’t seen me desperate? Do you not remember how I was when Anna left me? Gave up on us? Moved on and told me I was basically the worst person ever. I was barely able to function for weeks. Getting people interested is one thing Andi... being able to keep them is another. I admit... I have had a fair number of girlfriends. I am no casonova with the ladies... buuuut I do know a few tricks, and have learned how to bring myself to their attention in a positive manner...”

He cleared his throat, then said, "there is no accounting for tastes when comes to an individual. People can like different personalities and approaches up and down the scale. But there are a few general things that tend to attract members of the opposite sex. Or of the same sex actually. Seems so at least. One of these things is confidence. The opposite of confidence in the dating world is desperation. If confidence doesn't come naturally, then the next thing you want to do is make sure you aren't on the opposite end of the spectrum. You want to make sure you don't appear desperate. For me I would say a lot of confidence came with age. Confidence also came the better I understood myself, and accepted who I was, and so I was clear with what I wanted and what my goals were in life. They always tell you to just be yourself. Well this is true. Just being yourself can be quite attractive. Trouble is if you don't know yourself well... this can show up as a lack of confidence. And there really is no way around it except for self-reflection, meditation, working on what you like about yourself and what you don't, accepting your flaws even if you intend to work on them, and recognizing your strengths.

Giving Andy a slight smile, he said, "I know you just want to hear some magic trick, and not that you need to work on yourself and be patient, but that definitely is part of it."
 #30844  by Andi Foerster
Andi hummed, nodding, but then looked at him.

"Okay...so that's part of it - like you just said. So what's the other part? The things you say? What you do? How you look at them? Do you use pick up lines? What I mean is..." He sighed. "I know you just said about the whole self acceptance stuff but...I don't think I'm all that interesting or funny or attractive, and so what if I'm a little desperate. What's so wrong with just wanting to spend my time with someone I care about? Why does that have to be an unattractive trait?"

He shrugged, looking off to the side.

"I don't...really have a lot going for me. Everyone sees me as an immature kid, and that's okay if they're your age but...even Jens calls me kid..."
 #30845  by Florian Dahl
Florian raised his brows at Andi, then said, "Well first off... Jens only said that because he was a bit insecure himself. You were both the youngest of the group and he wanted to establish himself as some how being older and more on par with the rest of us."

"But, erm... as far as why desperate is not attractive well... Desperation is not flattering to the other person. No one wants to be pursued because the other person just wants to be with anyone they find remotely attractive. It is also scary. Someone who is desperate may be willing to commit before you are, might talk of marriage before you are, might hide aspects of their personality to keep the other around, might give you a feeling that you need to hurry and catch up to them and the way they feel. The other person ends up being so overly concerned for the desperate persons feelings that they have no time to analyze their own. They don't get to grow in these feelings with the other. I am sorry Andi but... typically the sort of people that like desperation in others... are bad people that want to take advantage of someone, and use them. You don't want someone that finds that attractive."

He had more to say about Andi's belief he lacked many good qualities but first he wanted him to see his point about desperation.
 #30846  by Andi Foerster
Andi opened his mouth, and then closed it again, slumping back into his chair. Damn, that did make sense. Damn Florian for always seemingly knowing the answer.

"I guess...I mean, okay, I'm not desperate for just anyone but...someone would be nice..." He trailed off.
 #30850  by Florian Dahl
"Same thing," said Florian with a shrug. "Remove the word desperate from your vocabulary when talking or even thinking about yourself. And when you go to make a move... ask yourself if the move appears desperate. If it does? Don't do it. Owl a girl once. If she doesn't respond? Wait... don't send another owl just in case she missed the first. Even if she did miss it just wait until you run into her again to mention it. You can wait a few days... see what I mean?"

Florian gave Andi's knee a pat, then said, "Now you listen to me... You are funny, and interesting, and I think many people would find you attractive. You might not be a Paul Zale," he said, naming a famous wizard celebrity, known for his stunning good looks. "But neither am I. But we are still attractive enough. Cecile even told me she thought you were cute, and funny. It wasn't your looks or lack of personality that didn't bring you together you know. Erm... but enough about her.." he said, trying to move quickly on,

"But you need to recognize your skills, or positives, everything good about you that make you Andi and capitalize on that. You really don't think you are funny? Why? Because I tend to find your jokes and pranks irritating?" Florian shrugged, then said, "Might have something to do with the fact that it was often displayed during working ours. It also might be because your sense of humor is different. Mine tends to be very dry or sarcastic... you are a bit more slap stick. You are more of a class clown. And trust me... a lot of girls like that. You read that Teen Witch tra- I mean... magazine, right?" he said with a smirk. "When they are interviewing a celebrity about the top things they look for in a partner, what is always in the top three? Sense of humor. right? Or "A man that can make me laugh." Same with surveys of people in general. Everyone likes a good laugh. Good looks? That's all relative. I mean take Ana... clearly good looks aren't important to her when choosing a mate..."

And there was that dry humor of his he mentioned.
 #30851  by Andi Foerster
Andi took it in. He was silent for a very long time after his words, clearly turning them over in his head. He had to consider all of the aspects; he knew he wasn't ugly by any means. But he did know he wasn't conventionally good looking either; he found his face to be a weird shape, nose too wide, dark rings around his eyes, and rather limp hair. Not only that but...he couldn't grow facial hair even if he tried - and Merlin, had he tried!

But as Florian said; looks weren't everything, right? There was humour, and kindness, and generosity, and earnestness. Andi thought, in a way, he possessed some of these qualities to one extent or another. He wasn't overwhelmingly one thing, but then again, was any person so nice? Ana perhaps...she was incredibly kind and patient. Maybe that was why everyone liked her; she was gentle and considerate and soft. But was he supposed to be that way too?

He pursed his lips, and then looked to Florian.

"Do you think I'm too girly? Or flamboyant? Is that a reason for me not having a girlfriend? Do girls already think I'm gay?"