- 02 Jul 2018, 15:37
In a fit of glorious vengeance, a neighbouring pawn took out James's rook. There was even a small tear in the pawn's eye. On the pretext of watching this valiant scene unfold, Sirius remained silent. Of course James wasn't an arse. Remus just had a stick up his backside sometimes, a symptom Sirius always chalked up to the latter's furry little problem. And Evans was a girl. Girls always thought boys were like that.
But James and Sirius did the same things. If James really was overdoing it...then Sirius was too. But that was a load of rubbish anyway. They were Gryffindors, where dwell the brave at heart! Slytherin produced the tossers, not Gryffindor. James's prodding snapped Sirius out of his musings, and sparked an idea or two.
Sirius scrutinized his best friend, tilting his head to one side. "You don't look like an arse." He leapt out of his chair, plucked a textbook off of a nearby table and plunked it in James's hands. "Nope, still don't look like an arse." He took away the book and produced an obnoxious stuffed-vulture hat. "Hmmm nope, still not an arse." He pulled a Gryffindor tapestry down, wrapped it around his friend like a cape, conjured a crown and sceptre for James, tilted his friend's chin up and straightened his back.
Sirius rubbed at his chin (he'd look so sexy with a beard someday). "You know, Prongs, I hate to break it to you, but you just really don't look like an arse to me."