A Magical Roleplaying Experience 

 #38524  by Emerson Toscano
 
Hands linked over her stomach, she tilted her head and looked at Emily as she asked for instructions.

The question was a valid one and Emily's perceptive analysis of the situation made the request as non-threatening as possible yet Emerson's brain went blank.

After a few seconds of silence, she extended her arm and patted it. That was the spot she could offer right now; a headrest, if Emily was willing to lay down with her.
 #38532  by Emily Anderson
 
Emily adjusted herself and lay back, resting her head on Emerson's shoulder and gently throwing an arm over the other woman. She felt her whole body relax at the physical contact, and the blonde was relieved that Emerson had extended this to her. It made her feel like maybe everything would be okay, if Emerson wanted her here.

"I've missed you," she mumbled, wincing as the words came out of her mouth. It sounded horribly selfish, to admit her own feelings when Emerson's world was in such turmoil.
 #38545  by Emerson Toscano
 
It felt nice to be told she had been missed. For the first time in a long time, she felt useful. Her attempts at comfort and reassurance wouldn't be shrugged off or begrudged.

She kissed Emily's forehead. "I'm glad you came," she said though she almost regretted it when she felt the ball of emotion she had been repressing climbing up her chest.

She swallowed thickly and cleared her throat. "I don't really know how to answer your question," she admitted.
 #38567  by Emily Anderson
 
The relief she had when Emerson said she was glad she came evaporated as the brunette cleared her throat. She felt herself go stiff, knowing that whatever was said was likely to be a difficult compromise. If a compromise was even able to made. Emily knew she had to give more than 50% here, regardless.

"I know, it's difficult," she agreed.She turned her head, kissing Emerson's cheek. "But I'm here for whatever it is you need. I'll understand."
 #38611  by Emerson Toscano
 
This was their usual dynamic, wasn't it? Emerson brought conflict and disruption to their relationship while Emily adapted as patiently and as selflessly as she could.

"The boys will be back to Hogwarts in a week," she mused, implying that things might be easier once they were not sharing quarters. It was a questionable thing to bring up, Emerson was aware of that, but it played in the balance nevertheless.
 #38617  by Emily Anderson
 
Emily took Emerson's hand and loosely threaded her fingers through hers, gently playing with them above her as she waited for the brunette to speak. She was surprised to hear that the boys were going back to school so soon, given the news, but she guessed it was understandable. It would be a shame and detrimental for them to miss out on too much of their education.

"Does that mean you'd consider coming to stay with me?" she asked in a small voice. It wasn't that she was in a hurry to send them back - far from it - but she definitely wanted the company of her girlfriend again.
 #38631  by Emerson Toscano
 
Her upper body tilted and jerked away from Emily. The suggestion shouldn't have come as a surprise. There had been plenty of weeks spent at Emily's without setting foot in her own flat, yet the current circumstances seemed to have dampened the habit.

"I don't know how to think that far ahead," she offered as an apology for her body's reflex. She attempted to reposition herself as she had been, but couldn't quite feel as comfortable.

The boys would go back t Hogwarts and then what? It would be easier for her to see Emily, certainly, but something about it didn't feel quite right.

Guilt

She tensed.
 #38865  by Emily Anderson
 
"Something's wrong," Emily murmured, pushing herself now into a seating position, angling her body so that she could still look at the brunette to watch for her reaction. It was an absurd statement, given how much exactly had gone wrong at the moment, but she was referring to the expression that had made its way across Emerson's face.

"Talk to me," she asked quietly, searching Emerson's eyes for something, although she wasn't entirely sure what it was.
 #39034  by Emerson Toscano
 
"Everything is wrong," she snapped back as her defeat slowly got consumed with anger.

She sat on the edge of the bed, head-heavy in her hands. Her anger was so consuming, she almost felt like a cartoon character with puffs of smoke escaping her ears. The rational part of her had been squashed, leaving her to deal with her most primitive instincts. Gone were the emotional nuances and any sort of empathic generosity. Here was the impulse to yell and curse.

"I can't do this," she mumbled against her palm. She took a deep breath, lifted her head, and placed her hands on her knees. "I can't do this," she repeated. Red-faced, vein throbbing at her temple, hands trembling, holding in her anger was the most difficult thing she had ever done. "I can't do this," she repeated, but this time her finger traveled from herself to Emily and then herself again.
 #39126  by Emily Anderson
 
Emily stood, so as to give Emerson some space. Space for what, she didn't know, but it felt like to right thing to do.

The blonde swallowed uncomfortably as she watched Emerson's anger rise within her, not knowing how to comfort her. She had dealt with outbursts concerning Evelyn, dealt with the brunette's mood swings regarding her own insecurities, but this? Emily had not faced this. "You can't do this," she repeated to herself, looking at the finger Emerson had used to gesture between the pair. She searched her mind for an answer to what Emerson could possibly be referring to, because surely it wasn't them and their relationship. Surely.

Yet she could not think of what else Emerson could be referring to. She swallowed, ignoring already what her mind was whirring in cogs to understand and took a slow step towards her partner.

"Of course you can," she replied. "You're strong, you can face anything - we can face anything. Come on, let's just take some deep breaths and we can come up with a course of action."
 #39172  by Emerson Toscano
 
"No, no, this isn't a breathe and your problems will disperse kind of situation," she shook her head in disbelief.

Conversations about moving in together and breathing exercises were not what Emerson needed right now. Many daunting challenges encumbered her life and none of them were dismissable. Julian's death was irreversible, she would have to support her sons through their grief while carrying the weight of countless regrets. The whole thing seemed insurmountable.

"You should go," she shed the only weight she felt she could release. And in some grandiose self-important twist of her thoughts, she even thought she was doing what was right for both of them.