A Magical Roleplaying Experience 

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 #30852  by Florian Dahl
Florian pursed his lips and sat back in his seat, looking over Andi a moment before saying,

"I don't know... I don't know if some have found you to be a bit much. But here's the thing... you need to embrace the fact that people are all different with different expectations, desires, wants...For example when I was in school, one of my good friends was captain of the dueling club. He was very macho. Talked of being an auror, or something exciting like that. The girls use to love it. Ate it right up. I remember a girl in our group of friends asking me why I wasn't in the dueling club and why I didn't get better at fighting in general? I made some sort of dismissive comment asking "why I would want to do that? If I was known as a good fighter every fool who thought he or she was good with a wand would be hunting me down at the school and disturbing my peace." I said it to be funny, but I could see a look of disappointment on her face. Soon after I noticed the light flirtatious banter that had been going on between us... had dropped. I guess I wasn't manly enough for her or something. But funny thing about that? When I say similar things to women now they see it as a sign of maturity. they aren't looking for someone looking to go get his head blown off to prove a point." he shrugged and added, "Then again, some still are. But I am content with the ones that get me. And it's going to be the same for you Andi. Maybe you don't realize this but... there is a constant joke among women that "All the most attractive guys turn out to be gay." I have even heard it joked among men that it's a good thing all the gay guys aren't interested in women or the rest of us wouldn't have a chance. Point being... a lot of women actually like a lot of the stereo typical qualities associated with gay men. The fact they put more thought into how they dress, better conversationalists, etc. Some times as women mature a bit they start to get tired of the overly aggressive, macho man. and they find a kind hearted, friendly, funny guy like yourself a breath of fresh air."
 #30860  by Andi Foerster
Andi sighed.

"Sooo...I have to wait until I'm forty to start getting interest?" He asked, scrunching his nose. "I don't know...maybe it's just the fact that I know I don't really fit in with the crime crowd. I tried but...I just feel like a child. No woman wants a guy like me in a group like that, and no man wants to admit to liking guys...aside Kyle but...he's a boss. He can."

He slouched back.

"Do you think I would meet someone at the academy? Or have a better chance to?"
 #30863  by Florian Dahl
"Ok, first... I didn't say it took me until 40." said Florian. "I said when I was a teenager in school i was seen different. Big difference. Point is perspectives can change. Second... there are plenty of guy who admit it beside Kyle Bowden. Third, yes. I think you could quite possibly meet someone. and forth... I am getting quite concerned over how desperate and depressed you are sounding about this whole thing. You are young Andi. And I know it's hard. And I know you are in a hard place. But you need to work on you. No one can save you from yourself. Trust me... relationships will start to end before they can begin. It's hard enough finding someone to stick around in the first place. but you can't start dating someone with the hopes they will fix you and make you datable. It isn't fair to them to start a relationship where they basically have the job of fixing you. You need to go to a lot of counseling, you need to find a way to remember what you like about yourself, you need to be clear if you like men, women or what, and not latch onto someone because they are gay, or because they will give you a chance, or because they are part of a community you want to belong to. You need standards. Forget gender even. Forget people you know. think about what you actually like, what sorts of people you like being around, what sorts lift you up and motivate you. Go from there. Look for people with those qualities. Not being so available to every option out there also can make you more attractive as a partner. Let other people have a standard they need to reach to be with you. Look..."

Florian pulled out a pad of paper and a pen, and settling back he said, "Let's start shallow. What sort of looks are you into? Are you more attracted to people taller or shorter then you? Hair color? eye color? Skin color? I don't judge..."
 #30864  by Andi Foerster
Andi immediately flushed bright red, starting to stutter and stumble over his words at the questions. He cringed, tucking himself under, as though trying to hide his face with the embarrassing.

"U-uhm...I guess shorter than me? Or the same height?" He looked down at his long, lanky legs. He was a tall lad to say the least, but rather gangly with little to no defined muscle. Most people were shorter; heck, Cecile only reached his neck! He sighed, running his hand through his hair. "I haven't...really thought about a lot of the physical..."

He bit his lip.

"Do you remember that girl at the New Years party? The one with all the freckles and the ginger hair, blue eyes...very shy..." He gave a small shrug. "Well...she's sort of what I imagine. I think you knew her...she was with her friend; that really tall woman. Jens flirted with that girl; her name was like Rose or Violet...something like that." He waved a hand. "I haven't really thought about men. I guess blue or green eyes? Brown hair? I dunno...it's weird..."
 #30865  by Florian Dahl
“Ah, a read head, nice,” said Florian, jotting that down. “And shorter, ok, not too hard since you are tall... brown hair maybe, green eyes, ok. What about build? Thin, curvy, toned, muscular...”

It might have seemed to be mostly shallow things but... he just wanted to get Andi to stop dwelling on himself and his own flaws and how he was not what anyone wanted for a moment...
 #30868  by Andi Foerster
Andi bit his lip, staring at a wall as he pictured that guy from the teen witch magazine.

"I guess I sort of like...toned guys? Not massive muscles but...sorta? A bit? And for girls..." He shrugged. "The same build as the red head. Petite, maybe curvy, but I don't really care too much about er...well...assets or anything. I like a pretty face..."
 #30876  by Florian Dahl
"Uh huh... ok," said Florian. "Good... ok. Now listen. It's good to have an idea of what you like. Perfectly normal and natural. And perfectly normal and natural to throw that all out the window when you inexplicably find yourself attracted to someone who doesn't fit the type in your head. Good thing about you Andi is... I think you already know this instinctively. I don't think I need to tell you looks are only skin deep, or that you can be so attracted to someone emotionally and mentally that they become physically attractive to you."

"But let's move onto more important things... what sort of personalities are you most attracted to? At the moment... I am not sure you are thinking about that as much as you are falling for people that pay attention to you. Wesley, Jens, Cecile, Ana, Sora... are very, very different from one another. But you were very attracted to them all in different ways. Wanted to be noticed, liked, what have you. And they all payed attention to you, even if it was negative attention. Let go of all that. Think about what sort of person has made you feel better about yourself, the world, about them, etc. and maybe you genuinely like each type. I get that. but... objectively... what were the best reasons and the worst for liking each.."

Knowing how uncomfortable this could suddenly get for Andi, Florian said, "Look, I'll go first ok? Show you what I mean. I was attracted to Ana. I was also attracted to Cecile. In between both o them I had a one night stand with a dark haired beauty. With Ana?... She was a good person, and she made me feel like being a better person myself. Or the best version of myself perhaps. She was forgiving, patient, kind... three things that don't exactly come natural to me. She was also good with advice. She saw my flaws and knew I could do better. At the same time... there were things I brought to her as well. I pulled her out of her shell a bit for example, made her learn to speak up for herself more and not be a victim."

Florian looked up and sighed, then going on said, "And then there was that one night stand. She was beautiful, long dark hair, dark eyes... But all she was was someone in the right place at the right time. Made me feel good for a night because I was so broken up about Ana. But a quick fix is never good for anyone. It was nothing but lust. The only impact she had on my life was Ana showing up the next morning, finding out, and getting hurt. Was it worth it? No. Then Cecile. Why? Well she was young, vivacious, exciting... And a huge ego stroke. Now I didn't think of it that way at the time, but she looked up to me as this handsome, experienced, wiser, older man. After everything Ana said to me that night in Wesley's tent... Cecile made me feel human again, and not like such a terrible guy. but you know what?" He shook his head, then said, "It was a mistake. She was too young for me. she was emotionally immature and... just a lot of things. We actually had little in common. Everything I gained was sort of selfish. Like I said, an ego stroke. But it was a waste of both our times. It never would have developed into the sort of relationship where I might one day ask her to marry me..."

HE paused then said, "In the end Anna is who I need to think of for future relationships.. and not even someone just like her, but someone where there is at least a balance. Does that make sense? I might like younger girls because they make me feel good about myself and don't hold me to the same high standards but... it's not the best choice in the end. It's not even really what I want other then a quick fix for feeling down, or alone."
 #30879  by Andi Foerster
Andi nodded as Florian spoke. He was glad his uncle went first and gave him an example, otherwise it would have been incredibly embarrassing! But in the end, he was also happy that Florian had come to his own conclusion to date older women - or more accurately, women his own age. After all, even Andi knew deep down that he wouldn't last with Cecile - neither of them would; she was too young for Florian, and yet too mature for him. She was wrong for the two of them combined.

"Well...I guess Wesley was because he was so experienced; he seemed to know everything and be full of such knowledge. Not just about weird creepy stuff, but he was very culturally aware; he suggest music, artists, actors, hobbies to try - he taught me about history and economics and languages. It was really sort of...heart breaking knowing a man so intelligent would degrade himself to do such awful things. I almost just wanted to ignore it all just so I could listen to him tell stories and teach me things in peace. He seemed to know at least something about everything; knew how to stay fit, knew how to exercise the mind, knew how to talk to people, knew how to present self care. But in the end, the curiosity of him and the hidden danger elements just weren't worth it."

He shrugged.

"I guess that's the same with Sora. She was sensual, otherworldly, knowledgeable. But again, too dangerous. As for Jens?" He sighed. "Well...he's confident, and funny a lot of the time, even if at my expense. He's my age and I...well...I kind of liked that he was sort of playing hard to get. Then again, maybe he wasn't playing anything; just simply wasn't interested. But it at least felt like the playing field was more even - I wanted to push myself to get his attention. He's relaxed and aloof, and it made me want to relax too. I guess he's also not a great pick due to his highly secretive side..."

"Ana was just...wonderful. Breathtaking. One of the most beautiful women I've ever met, inside and out. She perhaps shouldn't have mothered me, and I'm not looking for a mothering figure. But she is so kind, patient, sweet, generous, perceptive, patient - even when she didn't agree with things, she eventually came around to attempt to understand. Even with the likes of Wesley. She knew when she was wrong, and made up for it through her actions rather than empty words. Everything about her is graceful and delicate, and her confidence through shyness was effortlessly charming. No wonder you liked her so much. She brought out the best in me too, and I miss when we all used to hang out together."

"As for Cecile? She was similar to Ana in a lot of ways; beautiful, kind, perceptive, cute. But there was something more confident about her, and her shy moments made her more charming. She knew her mind and wouldn't bend for people, sometimes to a ridiculous degree, if I'm honest. But I knew her heart was in the right place. She was impulsive and exciting and fun, and I liked that. She wouldn't say no to a lot of the rides when we went on that one date - I took her to a theme park - and she didn't care if people stared at her whilst she acted excited. But as I said...she was impulsive for a lot of things, including anger and irritation. I can't blame her entirely as I think that was the Veela trait kicking in...but it was a lot to deal with. And...she made me nervous. She was almost too beautiful. I was always afraid I was showing her up or something."
 #30885  by Florian Dahl
"Andi..." Said Florian, once the other had ended, "Don't ever feel you were not good enough for Cecil. She gave you a chance for a reason. Clearly she saw something in you. You were different from a lot of the men that had pursued her before based solely on her looks, or because they wanted a trophy on their arm. She felt a connection with you. And she liked your joyful spirit. She likes how positive you were. And I am sure she likes the way you treated her. Because you didn't ultimately end up working out doesn't mean anything. She didn't reject you because you have some sort of glaring personality defect, or because you have done something horrible in your life. Remember, most people in this world are not suited for one another. Those of us who have dated many times are actually proof of this. Some of us are better at getting people initially interested. But it still ends in rejection. It doesn't show that you are higher quality because you have dated and been broken up with twenty times as opposed to one or two times. Even stunningly gorgeous, highly educated, fascinating people can find themselves becoming jaded, or depressed, as yet another relationship does not work out. And they sit there wondering what is wrong with them when they have been through so many men, or so many women, and none of them could work out. You are a catch Andy. You have the qualities that matter. You just need to grow into yourself a little bit more, and regain your confidence. Trust me."

Florian pursed his lips as he thought it over his other words, and then said, "Watch out for people like Jens. He is good at making himself appear mysterious, and hard-to-reach, and like he really believes he is better than those around him. The tactic is to make you work so hard at trying to win his attention... that you have no time to think about whether his attention is even worth having. Like I said, I believe it comes from insecurity. I believe he's a lot like you. He's not sure he has all that much to offer. So he doesn't share a lot, and forces the other person into a position where they are trying to impress him and hold themselves up to his supposed high standards. It's really just a lot of bullshit Andi."

And then there was Wesley...

" Wesley plays the same game as Jens. Only difference was he had more of a leg to stand on. Jens is an imposter, Wesley is the real deal. He is interesting. Even I will admit that. I didn't mind him as a drinking companion because he amused me in many ways. He had been around for a bit, led many lives, he was older than he looked. So he had interesting things to say. But I don't want you simply thinking that the reason to avoid people like Wesley is because they are criminals. There are people like Wesley who lead perfectly legal lives. There are other reasons to avoid people with his kind of personality. He's extremely manipulative. Controlling. He preys on the insecurities and fears of others. He uses his dark allure to suck in his victims. Think of how he interacted with all four of us, and use that in your evaluation of others like him. Could be a man or a woman. Think of how differently he interacted with you and Anna versus me and Jens. You and Ana were the ones he could easily manipulate, shock, frighten, entrance, or what have you. How ever it manifested it self, whether through fear or admiration, he could exerciser control over you. This sort of person is not good for anyone as they are. They can not be trusted to care for you as anything more then a puppet for their own gratification. Do you see this Andi?"
 #30890  by Florian Dahl
Florian was quiet a moment, then finally said, “It’s hard for me to say. Some times people get along with similare personalities. Some times opposites attract. What is most important to me is that you are not sucked i to a relationship that is harmful to you because you are desperate to be loved. I think your draw to Wesley has a lot to do with the fact that you grew up with out a father figure as a child. But ideally... someone who enjoys your sense of humour. Someone who is good and kind like you. Those would be good similar traits. Then opposite traits? Maybe... someone who has a little more common sense? Someone who can read people well, and is not so trusting of everyone. They could be a good influence and keep you from bad company.”

“You know what you should do Andi?” Said Florian suddenly. “Speed dating. Something to just get you out there, allowing you to meet multiple people at once. I think you just need more experience. If I could set you up on one casual date after another I would.”
 #30891  by Andi Foerster
Andi bit his lip.

"Well...after I get out of here and get my life together a bit...why don't you? I mean...speed dating...I trust your opinion more than anyone else's so maybe you might be able to help me out like this?"
 #30901  by Florian Dahl
"Yeaaah well..." Florian glanced to the side, then said, "You know?.. Ok. I'll d it. For moral support. It will be fun. Hey... maybe we will find an aunt and niece going together, right? Who knows?"

He chuckled then glancing at the clock he said, "Looks like lunch time is coming up. Want to head down to your cafeteria with me and see if there is something decent to eat here?"