Volume M2 Issue #1 ★ 3 January 1977
British Minister of Magic: Jenkins or Minchum
Nearly one year after Eugenia Jenkins was forced to relinquish the chair of the leader of the British Ministry of Magic and was replaced with his Honourable Mister Harold Minchum, the Daily Prophet took to the streets of Diagon Alley and Hogsmeade to survey public opinion on the most dramatic transfer in political power seen by Wizarding Britain since former Minister Ignatius Tuft less than a decade ago, and on who the British wizarding citizens would prefer to guide the nation in a tumultuous time of tension and terror.
“Minchum, a thousand times over. We’re at war. Jenkins wasn’t doing nothing to contain the threat from He-Who-Cannot-Be-Named. We need someone stronger, someone tougher. Someone who would stick ‘em necks out there to protect their people. Minchum’s doing it mighty fine so far.”
Bartemus Barnowl*, Knight Bus maintenance worker
“I don’t think ‘tis fair, what they did to Madame Jenkins. They didn’t give her no fair chance. If I were to be honest, I don’t think people can see a woman leading them in difficult times. In peace, maybe. But the moment something big happens, everyone just forgets how well the ex-Minister dealt with the riots over squib rights. ‘Tis an ungrateful lot, I tell you.”
Loretta Lightspark, St. Mungo’s tearoom attendant
“I think Minister Minchum is doing an excellent job. We needed more security at Azkaban and he delivered. Madame Jenkins just wasn't able to go through with what we really needed. She's a fine lady, but not who we need in office right now.”
Syrme Seivad, Azkaban staff
“I'll be right with yer. They din't give the lass a good go, but that dun't mean I liked her. They always put a ponce t' do a labour man's work. I dun't get these posh folk wi' their words and campaign twaddle. I'm not tryna be funny or owt, but at the end of the day, its me and my kids doin' all the work for a few knuts. How am I supposed to support anyone properly when I probably win't even be here in a year’s time at this rate. [Redacted] to the lot of 'em.”
Graham Fleabottom, cauldron-maker
“YOU ARE ALL GOING TO DIE LIKE POOR. MOANING. MYRTLE. DID. OHHHHWAAAAAAA!!!!”
Moaning Myrtle, Hogwarts ghost
Eugenia Jenkins: 1.5/5
Harold Minchum: 2/5
* All names have been edited to preserve anonymity.
Professor Evaluations to begin at Hogwarts
In accordance with Decree Number 189.OL5, introduced by the Department of Magical Education last year, the Progress Report of Magical Didactics will be implemented commencing September 1976 and has the express purpose of evaluating the professors at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
Every active professor at Hogwarts will be assessed on their magical technique, wand control, teaching methods, and knowledge of their subject area, and will be given a score on the following scale: Appalling-Bad-Fair-Good-Excellent.
Recipients of the score “Good” will be given a list of suggestions to improve their practice, while recipients of the scores “Fair” or “Bad” will receive immediate intervention and corrective measures will be implemented. Those who receive a score of “Appalling” will be removed from their position.
Professors will be evaluated on three separate occasions before December 1st, 1976, with at least one evaluation being completed during an Ordinary Wizarding Levels class. Scores from the three evaluations will not be averaged, but will be considered on whole before determining the professor’s final score. Professors will be informed of their score by December 15th, 1976.
Parents are advised that this process will not disrupt the learning environment at Hogwarts, and in fact will lead to an improvement in the quality of their child’s education. Students are to be advised not to act any differently than they would during a normal class session while their professor is being evaluated.
Contributions to this issue were made by the Vault Staff.
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