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[Reformation Era] Daily Prophet #R1 ★ August 13, 1999

August 28th, 2015, 5:32 pm

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Issue #R1 ★ 13 August, 1999

The Centaur Liaison Is To Take Action

It's well-known that the Centaurs are a proud race in the wizarding world, and since the creation of the department, not a single beast has used its purposes. In this turn of events, one member of the division, Ariana Whisp, has taken it upon herself to set a change. She states that she is 'determined to rid the ministry's joke of the department' at the same time as 'supporting the Centaurs for their brave conduct'. She believes that the creatures were never truly thanked for their work in the Battle of Hogwarts and is taking a stand to expand their territory.The Forbidden Forest is known for its array of magical creatures, but Whisp has expressed ideas of creating a permanent, environmentally safe area for the Centaurs, protected from Ministry activity and trespassers. She also stated thoughts of implementing more teaching of their habitats and culture within the schooling system to ensure their survival and protection. Because of their proud nature, she is suggesting an approach that brings a sense of partnership between beings and beasts rather than merely 'using' the Centaurs for their divination skills and healing. Whisp is asking for firm supporters of this movement. The petition for new and safe habitats can be found in the atrium of the Ministry of Magic. More information can be found on Level four.


Cleary Wife Admits York Family Deaths Were No “Accident”!
By Kit Harper, Daily Prophet Staff Writer


Evidence has only grown that points to the mysterious death in the York Family as having been murders! Yet no investigation has been opened. Where is the Ministry one might ask?
As I sat across from the young, bubbly intern hit-witch Cecile Delaurier I can see the distress in her eyes as she tells me of her attempts to bring attention to this case. She claims to have sent owls to members of the Ministry to bring their attention to this case, but she has been ignored and turned down at every turn! Some may wonder just how competent the Ministry is when their young interns are the only ones who seem interested in justice being brought to the wealthy elite of our world. Sadly she agreed that were this a lower class group of wizard the ministry would be on it, but that money speaks louder than facts to some in the Ministry.
Is it a coincidence that the powerful Cleary Company is tied into this? What you will hear next is shocking.
When interviewing Hera York Cleary, wife of infamous alleged mobster Egan Cleary, she told a very different story. One in which accusations were made, wands drawn in anger, unforgivable death curses used, and four dead bodies by the end. It must be noted she claimed her husband Egan only killed in defense of her, but what of the other deaths? When questioned Mr Cleary denied his wife's version of the story and stuck to the original that it was an accident.
Is there to be no accountability simply because the name York and Cleary is involved? You be the judge.


International News

Egyptian Ministry Lifts Hunting Bans

In a controversial but unanimous ruling, the Egyptian Ministry of Magic has lifted the longstanding ban on independent hunting of certain magical creatures within not only the borders of Egypt but the majority of northern Africa. This ruling comes about in light of increasing attacks on muggles and wizards by magical beasts native to Africa. This ruling would allow licensed hunters, through the Egyptian Ministry, to kill and profit off certain species of beasts deemed both invasive and too deadly to relocate or allow to live. The exact list is still under review but will likely include Erumpent, Sphinx, Jba Fofi, and several varieties of dragon.Naturally there has been an outcry from wizarding environmental groups, especially from dragon conservationists, though the Egyptian Ministry insists that the listed species will not be hunted to extinction, simply enough to weed out those in and around human population centers. Nevertheless, conservationists are expected to protest this ruling later this week.

The lift of the ban is expected to last until Spring of 2001 at the latest, though this may be cut short depending on interest level. Permits can be purchased through your local ministry's Department of International Magical Cooperation starting in September.


Advice & Opinion Columns

Ask Harry Potter

Dear Harry,

There is something very serious I'd like to ask you. What started out as a joke between my mates and I has now escalated into a full blown argument. So that being said: Wizard to wizard.....Boxers or Briefs?

Sincerely,
Anonymous
Dear Anonymous,

Boxers, Mate. Always boxers. How is this even a question? Or why is it even an issue? Go play Qudditch, Wizards chess, battle dragons, or practice knitting sweaters for your cat, but please, for the love of Merlin, stop overthinking this. When in doubt, go without.

Sincerely,
Harry


Dear Harry,

I need your help. Not so long ago, I shamefully admitted my feelings to my boss, and ever the gentleman, he let me down easy. Recently, we decided to give a relationship a chance since we're quite a good match. Despite taking it slow, I worry about the consequences of this. I believe I have serious feelings for him, and we're both happy. I'm just uneasy about the idea of this affecting how co-workers would view our professionalism. For now, we're keeping private...am I being paranoid about this?

Thank you,
-Conflicted
Dear Conflicted,

Who gives a flaming hippogriph what your co-workers think! They are not the one in the relationship. However, as a fair warning, if things dont' work out in your favor it could get messy. It may get to a point where you may have to changes jobs and your name, and your face. Actually, just kidding about that. It's a risk you two will have to decide though. You'd be stupid not to be paranoid, and foolish not to think that it wouldn't affect both of your working environment. But, hey, that's love for you. It will affect you either way you go about it.

P.S. There's absolutely nothing wrong with taking things slow and letting things unfold as you go. We're all entitled to have our secrets.

Sincerely,
Harry


Gossip

Douglas O'Toole: Village person? Pride parade leader? Biker gang member? Unstealthy assassin?

If there's one question on any woman's mind, it's just how they can get this hunk of a leather-enthusiast into their arms. There's only one way to describe this one-stop-jaw-drop man: mysterious! Whether it's the squeak of those trousers or the smirk of the ages, he's going to get the men jealous and women staring. Of course, there's always that impending thought. If he's wearing this out in public, then what in the name of all things holy is he wearing in his humble abode!? Oh, I bet I've got the gears turning now!Surely, there must be something wrong with this Don Juan wizard, right? Well, ladies, I'm sorry to burst your bubbles, but the might Douglas O'Toole is taking his Irish masculinity to the opposite side of the Quidditch pitch. A man of such confidence and posture couldn't possibly be so willing to portray himself in such a way if he...wasn't this way already, right? Exactly. Gorgeous Mister Tool is dressing up for the attention and dressing down for the men. A pity; the squeak of his step will forever be alluring.

-Ivia Riley


Contributions to this issue were made by Aidan, Lilly, Kelsie, and Silus.
To view all current news submission openings, [click here].

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Manager • London Branch
England

Re: [Reformation Era] Daily Prophet #R1 ★ August 13, 1999

September 20th, 2015, 10:54 pm

Egan sat in his office sipping coffee and looking over the Daily Prophet. Hmm... something about Centaur Liaison Office... Huh... he didn't even know such a thing existed. What did it do? And did he care? He would have to ponder that later.

Hmmm... Douglas O'Tool? Egan read, smiled, then expected to be seeing this Ivia Riley in the obituaries next week.

Ah good, hunting bands lifted in Egypt on dragons. Always could use more dragon hides.

Advice column by Harry Potter? What? Egan shook his head. That Harry freakin' Potter was never going to be forgotten about was he. Kill a legend and Iguess you become one. Hmmm... Who could Egan kill to become a legend? HE had certain killed a few people in his day but no one gave him an advice column.

He turned the page "Cleary Wife Admits Family Deaths Were No Accident..." WHAT?!?! Egan spat out his coffee all over the page, and then flattening it out on his desk began to read frantically. WHAT?! WHAT DID SHE SAY!! RAAAWWRR!!!

Egan crumpled the paper in his hand and stormed out the door. He was going to have to have a little talk with his sweet wife...

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